At some point in our lives, we all face adverse situations that we need to deal with. In this first blog by Tony de Bree describes 3 types of adversities we all face in our lives and you might already have faced in yours.
Hi. One of the things I really like about my new life after I left my corporate job in Banking at the end of 2011 (see my LinkedIn-profile here), is helping others to deal with different types of adversity and giving them the tools to be successful. Through people in my network and through my books and eBooks, I meet a lot of different people, including executives, seniors and young people of different cultural, social & economic backgrounds. And they all have very interesting personal stories…..if you take the time to listen.
One of the questions two women in Rotterdam asked me during one of the masterclasses at the Buzinezzclub in Rotterdam (see the picture above) on ‘You have everything you need’ (to be successful) was:
‘How did you deal with adversities in YOUR life, Tony?’.
Because I had told them that my father had gone bankrupt and how my professional career & life had developed after that very difficult event. A very good question!
When I drove back home, I started to think about 1) what type of adverse situations I actually had experienced myself, 2) how I had actually dealt with those including the financial problems with my father and 3) with the help of whom?
More people have asked me the same question since then. Including former executives and other people in my personal and professional lives. So that is why I decided to write a number of blogs on how you can deal with difficult situations.
In this first blog on ‘How you can deal with adversity?’, I will list 3 different types of adversities that you might encounter or already have encountered in your own life.
II. Three types of adversities.
Based on the personal stories of people I have listened to and based on my own personal stories, there seem to be three different types of adverse situations one might encounter.
1) Adversities concerning you as a person.
There are different things that can happen to you personally. You can get problems with your health for instance. Some of those you can not do much about: we all have defects in some of our genes for instance. Another thing that is difficult to change is who you are, really. ‘By nature’.
You are however able to take care of your physical and your mental/spirital health. So if you get serious problems with your health like I did during my last years at ABN Amro during my burnout ‘paid by the Dutch taxpaper’, then it is upto you to make the right choices, take tough decisions and get healthy again. And many of us also make the mistake to choose the wrong partner, wrong girlfriend, wrong husband or wrong boyfriend. That also can lead to difficult situations. I learned that some of us are better in choosing partners than others. Sounds familiar?
2) Adversities concerning people in your private life.
There are many things that can happen to people that are close to you. Your partner, your children or close friends. They can get sick also, they might even die. They might lose their job or other things might happen to them. A divorce is another event that can have a huge impact on your own life, because of what happens to people that matter to you in your private life.
So my father went bankrupt when I was 18 for instance. As a result of that, I had to learn to make money with what I had. I also lost my parents already a long time ago, a brother in 1997 and recently my father in law that I knew since the age of 18. How you cope with bankruptcy, illness or deaths in your private life is a huge issue for many of us. And can cause a lot of pain and distress. But although we are all different, there are some things that can help most of us I learned.
3) Adversities concerning your professional life.
One of the things that happens a lot with young people I listen to online and offline during different masterclasses for instance, is that they have a) trouble to find their first paying job for or b) to make money to pay their bills in general or c) they have difficulty to choose the right school or they choose the wrong education or d) They choose the wrong partners in their private lives AND/OR in their professional lives. For instance the wrong co-founder of their startup, the wrong advisors, the wrong partners or the wrong investors.
Ok. Well that was my first blog I wanted to share with you around ‘how you can deal with adversities’. In the next blogs I will mainly share ideas & tips from personal stories around category 3: adversity in your professional life.
In the next blog however, I will talk about how you can learn from adverse situations in general. Based on personal stories of friends and customers and my own personal stories. If you do not want to miss any blog & tip, on ‘How to deal with adversity’, bookmark these blogs, ok?
Want to share your personal stories?
If you want to share your personal stories around dealing with adversity, then send it to me using this form, ok?
Tony de Bree